Antidepressants more effective than being told to ‘cheer the fuck up’, study finds

Anxiety / Depression

A scientific study has found that antidepressants are considerably more effective at treating depression than simply being told to ‘cheer the fuck up’.

A researched and developed drug prescribed by a professional has been found to work ‘significantly better’ than being told to ‘cheer the fuck up’ by an untrained, heartless fuckwit.

We ran some simple A/B tests and the results were stunning. While antidepressants didn’t work in 100% of the cases, being told to “cheer the fuck up” worked in exactly 0% of the cases.

From this we conclude that maybe untrained fuckwits who don’t know what they’re talking about should keep their mouths shut when dealing with matters of mental illness,’ said Dr Feelgood, head of research.

The study has been widely condemned by fuckwits across the world.

‘Who paid for this research? I’ve told a lot of my depressed friends to “cheer the fuck up” or to “try smiling” and I’ve been told time and time again that they felt a lot better after I left. If that isn’t proof, I don’t know what is,’ said Dale Tremaine, an untrained, unqualified and unwanted mental health expert.

‘You wouldn’t catch me taking pills to make me happy,’ Simon LeBond told us, after drinking his third pint of the night.

But people who’ve suffered from depression have welcomed the study and hope that it removes the stigma of taking antidepressants.

A mental health advocate told us: ‘I think this is really good news for people who struggle with their mental health. Now we just need a study that says the cure for people who tell us to “cheer the fuck up” is to tell them to “fuck the fuck off”.

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